How did I get started writing my thoughts?
I have 2 suggestions for anyone who may consider reading further:
Thomas Kempis 1380-1471
The first time I wrote my thoughts on paper happened rather mysteriously back in 1999. I was living alone in Guelph at the time. I woke up one morning, around 4:00 AM, and felt like having a coffee and a cigarette. I have never brewed my own coffee at home … I have always preferred to visit the nearest coffee shop. At this time, smoking was not allowed in most of the coffee shops in Guelph. So I would buy my coffee at the drive-thru window at the Tim Hortons on Wellington Street and enjoy my first cigarette and coffee of the day in my car.
Yet, on this particular morning, some mysterious force was pushing me to drive about 15 kilometres … to a Tim Hortons where you could still smoke inside the coffee shop. I answered this strange sentiment.. Reminds me of the biblical story of Samuel ... he hears a voice calling him in the night ... he gets up, goes to his master and says ... "here I am".
As I was getting out of the car at the Tim Hortons on Highway 6, my ‘inner voice’ told me to bring a pen and a piece of paper in with me. Here is where the mystery starts! I had never done any ‘writing’ in a coffee shop before. Matter of fact … I had never done any writing before … other than an occasional email to family or friends. I stood there for a few seconds ... mulling around in my mind what this unexpected and highly unusual sentiment was all about. I resisted for a bit but finally said to myself ... OK ... what the heck. I'll take it in and see what happens Many years later I read the following:
How do we know when the Spirit is speaking to us? Two rules … First, the thought you surface at that moment can’t come from a process of reasoning. It has to burst into your mind like an insight. Second, if you carry out what the thought demands, it’ll cost you big time. The cost is almost always the element which stops us from carrying out the Spirit’s wishes. We simply don’t want to be that “disturbed.” Carol Stuhhmueller
Today I am convinced my experience at Tim Hortons that morning is accurately described in Carol Stuhhmueller comments quoted above.
Here is what I wrote that morning:
"I was reminded this morning of a cliché I heard in Medugorje … Bosnia Herzegovina) several years ago: “Any ‘dead’ fish can float down stream, it takes a ‘live’ fish to swim upstream”
Harsh words?
Begs the question … how is it that so many people perpetuate a ‘miserable life' … day after day! The ‘misery’ is simply a question of degree … some days are simply more miserable than others.
We know in our ‘hearts’ that this is not good … yet we persist. The story of Joan of Arc comes to mind … Joan was one of those people who refused ‘to go with the flow’ … some say she changed the course of history … and her ‘mission’ only lasted a couple of years. Those who know the ‘story’ also know the ‘price’ she paid.
Is it the ‘price’ we know we will have to pay if we choose ‘to swim upstream’ that keeps us ‘floating downstream … despite how ‘rough’ the ride gets.
Today, I don’t think we are worried about being ‘burned at the stake’. The ‘price’ today ,,, and always has been … those who go against the flow are treated as ‘lepers’ by mainstream society.
Seems to me, the pain of ‘isolation’ is greater than the pain of participating in a ‘culture’ that we know is not producing good ‘fruit’.
“Any ‘dead’ fish can float downstream; it takes a ‘live’ fish to swim upstream”
PS At the same place … Medugorje … Father Phillip … from the pulpit … uttered these words … “Fighting for peace is like fornicating for chastity”
I only wrote 269 words that morning … yet these few words … and the picture they attempt to render … have haunted me ever since, for more than 15 years now. Joan of Arc has also since appeared on my ‘spiritual journey’ many times.
While I view this experience in the coffee shop as a milestone in my writings, there was no immediate reaction. The ‘call’ to write occurred several years later … while living in Spain. One day I unexpectedly felt the urge to summarize my ‘thoughts’ in writing. By this time I had completed my first Camino …. walking 1,400 kilometres … from Lourdes France to Fatima Portugal.
Here is what I wrote that particular day … a summary of my thoughts up to that time.
I have 2 suggestions for anyone who may consider reading further:
- You should adopt a ‘beginners mind’. The idea behind this notion of "beginners' mind" is that we take all of the things we know--all of our brilliant opinions, all of our reason and logic, even our cherished beliefs--and we put all this stuff on the shelf for awhile. Beginner's mind is simply recognizing that this wonderful intellectual thinking mind that we all have may, at certain times, block things off from our view.
- Consider Thomas Kempis’ advice …"Do not be influenced by the importance of the writer, and whether his learning be great or small; but let the love of pure truth draw you to read. Do not inquire, “Who said this?” but pay attention to what is said”
Thomas Kempis 1380-1471
The first time I wrote my thoughts on paper happened rather mysteriously back in 1999. I was living alone in Guelph at the time. I woke up one morning, around 4:00 AM, and felt like having a coffee and a cigarette. I have never brewed my own coffee at home … I have always preferred to visit the nearest coffee shop. At this time, smoking was not allowed in most of the coffee shops in Guelph. So I would buy my coffee at the drive-thru window at the Tim Hortons on Wellington Street and enjoy my first cigarette and coffee of the day in my car.
Yet, on this particular morning, some mysterious force was pushing me to drive about 15 kilometres … to a Tim Hortons where you could still smoke inside the coffee shop. I answered this strange sentiment.. Reminds me of the biblical story of Samuel ... he hears a voice calling him in the night ... he gets up, goes to his master and says ... "here I am".
As I was getting out of the car at the Tim Hortons on Highway 6, my ‘inner voice’ told me to bring a pen and a piece of paper in with me. Here is where the mystery starts! I had never done any ‘writing’ in a coffee shop before. Matter of fact … I had never done any writing before … other than an occasional email to family or friends. I stood there for a few seconds ... mulling around in my mind what this unexpected and highly unusual sentiment was all about. I resisted for a bit but finally said to myself ... OK ... what the heck. I'll take it in and see what happens Many years later I read the following:
How do we know when the Spirit is speaking to us? Two rules … First, the thought you surface at that moment can’t come from a process of reasoning. It has to burst into your mind like an insight. Second, if you carry out what the thought demands, it’ll cost you big time. The cost is almost always the element which stops us from carrying out the Spirit’s wishes. We simply don’t want to be that “disturbed.” Carol Stuhhmueller
Today I am convinced my experience at Tim Hortons that morning is accurately described in Carol Stuhhmueller comments quoted above.
Here is what I wrote that morning:
"I was reminded this morning of a cliché I heard in Medugorje … Bosnia Herzegovina) several years ago: “Any ‘dead’ fish can float down stream, it takes a ‘live’ fish to swim upstream”
Harsh words?
Begs the question … how is it that so many people perpetuate a ‘miserable life' … day after day! The ‘misery’ is simply a question of degree … some days are simply more miserable than others.
We know in our ‘hearts’ that this is not good … yet we persist. The story of Joan of Arc comes to mind … Joan was one of those people who refused ‘to go with the flow’ … some say she changed the course of history … and her ‘mission’ only lasted a couple of years. Those who know the ‘story’ also know the ‘price’ she paid.
Is it the ‘price’ we know we will have to pay if we choose ‘to swim upstream’ that keeps us ‘floating downstream … despite how ‘rough’ the ride gets.
Today, I don’t think we are worried about being ‘burned at the stake’. The ‘price’ today ,,, and always has been … those who go against the flow are treated as ‘lepers’ by mainstream society.
Seems to me, the pain of ‘isolation’ is greater than the pain of participating in a ‘culture’ that we know is not producing good ‘fruit’.
“Any ‘dead’ fish can float downstream; it takes a ‘live’ fish to swim upstream”
PS At the same place … Medugorje … Father Phillip … from the pulpit … uttered these words … “Fighting for peace is like fornicating for chastity”
I only wrote 269 words that morning … yet these few words … and the picture they attempt to render … have haunted me ever since, for more than 15 years now. Joan of Arc has also since appeared on my ‘spiritual journey’ many times.
While I view this experience in the coffee shop as a milestone in my writings, there was no immediate reaction. The ‘call’ to write occurred several years later … while living in Spain. One day I unexpectedly felt the urge to summarize my ‘thoughts’ in writing. By this time I had completed my first Camino …. walking 1,400 kilometres … from Lourdes France to Fatima Portugal.
Here is what I wrote that particular day … a summary of my thoughts up to that time.
“Philosophical Fodder
We live in turbulent times, the demands of keeping pace with day to day living leave precious little time for anything else. Almost 1,600 years ago St Augustine wrote … “Woe, you torrent of human custom! Who can stand against you?” Perhaps some recent medical research provides the answer to the dilemma posed by Augustine in 400 AD. Doctors discovered the mortality rate amongst newborn babies is higher for those who do not receive cuddling and affection … “the human touch”. Surely this human characteristic is innate and permanent.
True at birth, seems to me it must hold true throughout our lives … as important at age 80 as at birth. The ‘will to live’ seems predicated on knowing we are not alone … we are connected … we belong! Have you ever asked yourself … What is going on? … Where is mankind headed? … What will we do when we get there?
We often hear the expression ‘the evolution of mankind’. The word evolution infers movement, figuratively speaking, from Point A to Point B. We live in the times referred to as Point A … Where is Point B? … What does life look like at Point B? … and … What is this phenomenon of movement or ‘torrent’ as expressed by Augustine?
For the past several years, the notion of evolution as ‘movement’ tickled my mind. Setting aside historical events, Darwinian theory etc, I reflected only on the notion of ‘movement’. My meditations seemed to be encouraged by the frequent observations of flocks of sheep, while traveling through the Middle East, Europe and most recently Spain. The first occurrence was in 1996 … on top of a mountain in Medugorje, Bosnia Herzegovina.
While sitting there, I heard the sound of cow bells … seemed strange … why would there be cow bells ringing on top of this mountain? In a few moments a small flock of sheep and their shepherd arrived on top of the mountain. How exciting! Having been raised in Canada, I had only read about or watched on television shepherds wandering the countryside and mountains with their sheep. Here at the dawn of the 21st century was an authentic shepherd and his sheep … wow!
Several years later, after seeing countless flocks of sheep wandering around the countryside with their shepherds, I found myself thinking … when the flock of sheep is on the move most of the sheep … almost all of the sheep … can only see the ‘butt’ of the sheep in front of them. They have no idea where they are going or what the terrain they are passing through looks like.
A few years later it occurred to me … not only can all they see is the ‘butt’ in front of them … worse yet … they have no choice but keep their nose glued to the ‘butt’ of the sheep walking in front of them … they cannot stop … the sheep behind them would trample them …they cannot move forward … or sideways … there are sheep pressing them on all sides … hmmm… and seems they are not willing to leave the flock … seems sheep also feel safe and secure through ‘belonging’.. “Woe, you torrent of human custom! Who can stand against you?”
Are there any parallels with this image and human life?
If so … Who is the shepherd?”
Since writing this summary, with almost twice as many words as I wrote in the coffee shop a few years earlier, my appetite for writing has waxed and waned. While I have scribbled several hundred thousands of words in the past 15 years, I have yet to knit together my thoughts and anecdotes into a cohesive ‘whole’. Perhaps I am not convinced the various pieces fit together to form a ‘whole’. I want to believe there is a thread that weaves through my disparate thoughts and personal experiences.
I believe our journey through life is like the children’s game “Connect the Dots”. A child playing this game often doesn’t recognize the picture until he or she has connected more than half the dots. Likewise in life, our self portrait is painted by the ever growing repository of our thoughts, decisions, actions and experiences. If we do not regularly take the time to reflect on these and how they are all connected …we may never know who we really are or recognize our purpose in life.
I have also read much more in the past 15 years than in the previous 50 years; where I hardly read anything. A few sentences have stuck with me and they form the corner posts of my thoughts and beliefs.
GLOBAL VILLAGE = ONE FLOCK = ONE DIRECTION = ONE SPEED
“Woe, you torrent of human custom! Who can stand against you?”
St Augustine
“We always feel more secure when the majority of those around us agree with the direction in which we're moving.”
Author Unknown
“It’s not the consciousness of men that determines their being, but, on the contrary, their social being that determines their consciousness”
Karl Marx
“And now do You see those stones in this parched and barren desert? Turn them into loaves of bread and men will follow You like cattle, grateful and docile, Although constantly fearful lest You withdraw Your hand and they lose Your loaves.”
Dostoevsky … “Brothers Karamazov” The Grand Inquisitor
St Augustine
“We always feel more secure when the majority of those around us agree with the direction in which we're moving.”
Author Unknown
“It’s not the consciousness of men that determines their being, but, on the contrary, their social being that determines their consciousness”
Karl Marx
“And now do You see those stones in this parched and barren desert? Turn them into loaves of bread and men will follow You like cattle, grateful and docile, Although constantly fearful lest You withdraw Your hand and they lose Your loaves.”
Dostoevsky … “Brothers Karamazov” The Grand Inquisitor
I have spent most of the past 10 years in China where I have had the privilege to learn a tiny bit about ancient Chinese culture and philosophy. Lao Tzu lived at the same time as Confucius and he is considered the father of Daoism. Most Chinese scholars believe Confucius felt Lao Tzu to be his superior in terms of ‘wisdom’ … Lao Tzu being the superior ‘sage’.
Two pillars of Lao Tzu’s philosophy are:
1) Take no action … live spontaneously.
2) Dare not try to get ahead of the world.
I have also grown to love Confucius; seems he has directed me to the Chinese notion of Yin Yang. Here's an interesting article on the History of Chinese Thought.
Finally, three songs have captivated the ‘spirit’ of who I am … including my thoughts and writings.
My Way … sung by Frank Sinatra
John Lennon’s Imagine with PPT Images
Let it Be … by the Beattles
Two pillars of Lao Tzu’s philosophy are:
1) Take no action … live spontaneously.
2) Dare not try to get ahead of the world.
I have also grown to love Confucius; seems he has directed me to the Chinese notion of Yin Yang. Here's an interesting article on the History of Chinese Thought.
Finally, three songs have captivated the ‘spirit’ of who I am … including my thoughts and writings.
My Way … sung by Frank Sinatra
John Lennon’s Imagine with PPT Images
Let it Be … by the Beattles