October 12, 2012
For the past week or so I have been thinking about this metaphor. I wanted to use the metaphor as the basis for some thoughts that have been swimming around in my mind for several weeks ... I just couldn't get started.
This morning I may have figured out why I couldn't get started ... my writing about tiger's stripes or leopard's spots would have been sterile ... lifeless ... I have no personal experience with the metaphor ... no one has ever used the expression to help me understand myself.
On the other hand I have a personal experience with the metaphor "bloom where you are planted". About 21 years ago, a priest at the "Madonna House" in Combermere introduced the metaphor to me to support his advice that I go back to my family in Tavistock ... the day I tried to join the Madonna House as a layman. The events surrounding my visit to the Madonna House are one of my earliest experiences of the Chinese philosophy Wu Wei ... "(Chinese, literally “non-doing”) is an important concept of Taoism and means natural action, or in other words, action that does not involve struggle or excessive effort.Wu Wei is the cultivation of a mental state in which our actions are quite effortlessly in alignment with the flow of life."
Another spin on Wu Wei is ... "Rather than trying to make something happen ... sit in the back seat and watch events unfold with no effort, stress or motivation."
The equivalent notion in Christianity is "follow the Holy Spirit"
The underlying intentions of the above metaphors ... tigers stripes and bloom where you are planted ... may not be the same however, they are both used to help us better understand our individual lives and our individual life choices. I decided to check my scribbling for the past 10-15 years to see if I ever wrote any notes or thoughts about the metaphor "bloom where you are planted". I found two occasions:
1) The first reference was in 2002 ... I wrote some thoughts about it.
Camino Santiago Pilgrimage July 2002
A series of 'mysterious' experiences brought me back to the Camino Santiago ... at Sanguesa. My 'rational' reason for starting in Sanguesa was to complete the Camino I started 2 years earlier ... 'solo'.
The following notes were written in the same scribbler used 2 years earlier.
To write or not to write was a big question for me. What to write?
May the words I write at this moment be inspired by the Virgin Mary ... may my ego go to sleep for a few moments.
I sit here at the same place where I wrote the last time ... I wrote a little in the Albergue in Monreal ... two years ago ... almost to the day.
Today is the feast day of Our Lady of Carmel here in Spain ... found myself at mass this morning on my way out of Sanguesa
The weather is cool ... strong winds ... the sun pops in and out.
Sanguesa is apparently the site of the first Franciscan monastery in Spain Apparently St Francis passed this way when he walked the Camino ... Who knows?? This place is called the fuente of San Francisco … the fountain of St Francis … I’m drinking wisdom from the fountain of St Francis … Wow! … How exciting!
I really have no idea why I am here on this particular day though lots and lots of speculation rolls around in my mind. A healthy concern about speculation these days ... looking at all that happens and interpreting certain events to mean certain things; sign posts along the way so to speak ... well ... they may be sign posts ... but they are very confusing! Not unlike my experience in the last hour or so ... since leaving Sanguesa ... the Camino signs.
The signs that are intended to help the people walking the Camino find their way were so confusing this morning ... and I have been here before! This experience suggests we often don't learn the appropriate life lessons with the first experience.
I still found myself going the wrong way ... and being confused ... they have Camino signs ... relatively new ones ... pointing in opposite directions. Suppose it may be intentional ... there are so many roads and maybe they all lead to the same place ... in this instance Santiago de Compostella. All roads lead to Rome … all roads lead to God?
I remembered this morning what the priest told me in Combermere ... about 6 years ago ... before I started all this traveling. At the time, my attempted suicide prompted me to seek help from the church.. He shared the metaphor ... "bloom where you are planted".
We humans have taken a zillion plants and animals away from their natural home and with some success helped them to adapt to new and often quite different environments eg. vegetables like potatoes and tomatoes(originally from Peru)... is this right? ... or ... wrong??
This reality does not mitigate the truth in the expression ... "bloom where you are planted". We know that nature takes care of all plants and animals in their natural environment.
So what does this have to do with people? I originally took what the priest suggested literally ... I went back to Tavistock with the idea that I should be close to my family ... bloom where I was planted.
As a result of the my conversation with the priest at Madonna House and their refusal to accept me as a resident layman I went to visit Paula and explained that I wanted to rent an apartment at the new apartment building in Tavistock. She got rather upset and angry and told me I absolutely could not do that ... being so close would only make her life more difficult. As it turned out soon after my visit Paula rented one of the apartments in this building ... perhaps it was her plan before I mentioned my own intentions. In any event, rather than exacerbate an already very tense situation I went to Guelph and have wandered all over the place since.
St Teresa of Avila, a Doctor of the church, is alleged to have said “don’t send me any more dumb priests”. Seems she also experienced first hand that priests are human too. Since she was a mystic with many mystical experiences; she learned ordinary human beings have no way of understanding mysticism. The North American Indian expression comes to mind, something to the effect … “hold your tongue until you walk a mile in the other person’s moccasins”
Unfortunately we have no command over mystical experience … we cannot walk in a mystics shoes; therefore we can never understand them.
After these many years of wandering I have changed my interpretation of the expression ... "bloom where you are planted" ... I moved it into the 'metaphysical' realm. I still believe there is some value on the physical plane ... but then ... why not also some value on the 'metaphysical' plane?
Seems to me the difference is ... no forget that thought...
Seems to me on the 'metaphysical' plane we have no choice about where we are planted ... this is also true of the physical plane ... well ... at least was true until recently. Seems science is now changing all this with the recent stem cell research et al ... now seems we are headed in the same direction I mentioned a few words ago ... humans have 'transplanted' animals and plants for thousands of years ... now they are embarking on the same road with humans ... right? or wrong?
Who knows? ... Good? or bad? ... Who knows? ... Necessary evolution? ... Who knows?
Back to my new understanding of the expression ... "bloom where you are planted" ... on the metaphysical plane
I was planted a Roman Catholic ... I’m still a Roman Catholic and still very comfortable being a Roman Catholic despite all the bad press these days and the sometimes horrific events in Roman Catholic history.
I have had many opportunities to change my membership in the metaphysical plane.
Here I go again with speculation ... I am reluctant ... but I will put my current speculative thoughts on paper ... ouch!!
Just as I finished the last paragraph I heard some noise ... turned out to be a tractor ... two tractors ... one heading in one direction and one heading in the opposite direction ... not enough room on the road for both.
One of the farmers took the initiative to pull to the side and allow the other one to pass ... and than both moved along on their respective journeys ... out of sight and out of hearing range.
Now this seems like quite an innocent experience ... not much activity around here ... quite normal to see 2 farmers going about their work.
My mind went to work on speculation ... 'cogito' or psychological imbalance?? ... Illness?
Doesn't matter ... here is where it went...
Part of my mind went back and collected the thought a few words back ... all rivers lead to the ocean ... placed this thought beside the image that these 2 tractors were not headed to the same place and they would collide head on if both stubbornly stuck to their path ... one of them conceded ... allowing both to continue along their way. Hmmm
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2) In 2004 during my walk across France ... here is what I wrote concerning the circumstances surrounding this particular reference.
OK ... now it seems I have paid appropriate tribute to both my mom and my dad ... the very little respect and gratitude I have expressed ... there is much more in my heart that perhaps I will find a way to express sometime.
A very special experience ... the visit to Cafe du Chalet Bar Tabac the gift of a lighter ... losing my regular lighter and being forced to use the gift.
The picture of the Indian Chief and the words:
"Once you have polluted the last river, once you have felled the last tree, killed the last buffalo, only then will you realize that you cannot eat all the money that you have put in your banks.
Let us take the earth back"
May 30, 2004
Around 1:00PM ... it's been almost 24 hours since I put down my pen ... and again so much has happened in the last 24 hours ... how will I be able to write it all down. The excitement of the events is still so fresh in my mind. I must try hard not to embellish the facts or direct the experiences towards my personal views.
Here goes ... I will attempt to recall what happened in chronological order ... in point form and perhaps in more detail at some later date.
Yesterday I put down my pen ... picked up my backpack and 'hit the road' so to speak. After walking about 20 metres I hear this whistle ... the kind of whistle that says ...hey you ... look over here ... I turn around ... it's Martial ... hmmm ... I should have seen him when I got up to leave ... he was that close ... nope!
Several hundred words back I mentioned "Martial heads for the church and I head for the Joan of Arc Church ... this was first thing in the morning and I hadn't seen him since ... several hours.
We walked along together for a bit ... agian Martial had difficulty keeping up with my slow pace and he walked on ahead of me. A few kilometres down the road Martial stopped to rest ... while tired and sore I wasn't ready to put down my backpack. I think I simply preferred to stop ahead somewhere so I could rest in solitude ... me and my thoughts and no interference ... how selfish eh!
A few kilometres later ... I'm lost! ... and I know I am lost ... for me there is a huge difference. Most of the time I am lost ... figuratively speaking! yet I don't know I'm lost so it doesn't bother me :-)
At this particular moment it bothers me that I am lost ... I make my best intuitive guess ... turn right and start down the hill ... about 80 metres down the hill my inner voice says ... this doesn't seem right. I stop for a bit ... turn around and head back up the hill ... for a pilgrim there is no worse experience than to go back over the same ground ... seems to me most pilgrims (those walking) prefer to keep going. In any event I head back ... and it's up hill no less! ... Yikes!!
At the top of the hill I study the guide again ... try to figure out from the map which direction to go ... I even ask the people who are working in the field beside the road. Seems they don't know the Camino St Jacques ... I sing out the names of a few places on the map and they assure me that I should go back down the hill and eventually I will see a sign indicating the right direction.
Still doesn't seem right ... but on I go.
This little experience had a small 'side effect'. Because I was forced to study the map more closely ... a rare event for me ... I noticed that I had passed a place called "Le trou de Diable" ... whew! ... not so disappointed that I didn't see it ... and quite content that I did not fall into it!
My mind is amused at this point ... here I am putting the final touches on the meditation I have mentioned several times and still not written about the one associated with the expression "It's time to shit or get off the pot" ... and poof ... I get lost ... study the map ... and find I have not fallen into "Le Trou de Diable"
I keep walking ... now recognize where I am ... missed a turn and I need to make a long detour (1-2 kilometres) ... which is a long ways when you are Kaput! ... to get back on the Camino.
The sun is shining ... it's hot(about 33 degrees ... saw this on one of those electronic billboard things in town) My eyes notice something on the other side of the road ... curiosity aroused ... my eyes zoom in for a closer look ... oops! ... this is a snake! ... a big snake!! ... biggest I have ever seen snake ... 2-3 coils about 12" or so in diameter ... I figure this snake is about 3 feet long.
I had to look real hard to find it's head ... it was resting on one of the coils ... yikes! I have always had an aversion to snakes ... don't know why? ... I keep on walking ... saying to myself ...the snake is only sunning himself/herself ... yellow stomach ... silver and grey colour.
Good thing I was on the opposite side of the road ... being semi-comotose I would likely have stepped right on it!! ... not likely ... hopefully it would have moved first??
Intriguing .... first I am goaded into learning about "Le Trou de Diable" ... without being taken there for a visit ... and a few minutes later I am given this experience of the huge 'snake' all coiled up accross the road from me ... like he is watching me ... waiting to strike????
So within a few minutes I was lost ... because I was lost ... I studied the map ... no help ... I take the wrong road and I see this big snake ... now I am feeling a bit intimidated.
The wrong road eventually takes me through a small village ... i think to myself ... alas! ... taking the wrong road would also deliver a 'blessing' ... I can have a coffee or drink sooner than I expected ... my 'involuntary' fast of the day would end ... you see there is an "R" on the map ... meaning there is a restaurant here ... no such luck! The restaurant is closed ... my involuntary fast is still on! ... Yuk!
Eventually I arrive in the town where my days walk is expected to end. By this time I have no cigarettes ... well I still have one pack of 'Players' in my backpack ... my eyes scan the horizon and I see a 'Tabac" sign ... but the store seems closed.
A motorcyclist pulls up beside the "tabac' store ... hmmm ... if he heads for the door I will know if it's open or not and save myself a few steps ... he does ... the 'Tabac' store is open! ... I'm content now.
I head accross the street ... I walk past the door to check out the 'Bar' next door ... seems closed ... Oh well! ... I'll buy my smokes and head accross the street to the other 'Bar'. While buying my smokes I notice that the 'Tabac' shop and the Bar are connected and the door between them is open. Kinda dark and smokey ... not too appealing.
For some reason I decide it's not such a bad idea to go pee pee here. I ask the girl if I can use the washroom ... response ..."oui" ... off I go.
On the way to the washroom and on the way back (to retrieve my backpack in the Tabac shop) I notice several paintings of 'Indians' ... Indian Chiefs, Indian Girl etc. I study them ... now I am intrigued ... how is it that a bar in a small town in France has so much North American Indian art and periphanalia.
Of course, I inquire ... turns out the gentleman to whom I direct my enquiry is the owner ... he explains to me that since he was young he has had this passion for the North American Indian. He has a library of stuff ... cassettes and whatever ... says he knows all the tribes etc etc. I think to myself ... how interesting! I buy an orange juice and sit for a moment ... I want to explore this a bit more ...
Chat more with the owner ... share with him that I believe I have some North American Indian ancestry. He warms up a lot towards me ... gives me a lighter ... the bar's name and address and a logo of an Indian with an eagle ... wow!! I think to myself ... this gentleman really does have a passion for the North American Indian.
A few minutes later I tell him I must leave ... he offers me a drink ... I decline explaining that I am on the Camino and I need to go outside and wait for a friend(Martial)
I originally planned to go accross the street for a coffee ... a feeling of 'guilt' wouldn't allow me to now ... the bar accross the street is visible through the window of the bar I just left ... I would feel terrible if he saw me at the bar accross the street just after declining his generous offer (the drink)
I sit on the sidewalk ... contemplating what just happened ... seemed to me that today is a day to honor my ancestors ... a few hundred(maybe thousand) words back I wrote a bit about my mom ... my dad ... and my dad's mom and her dad. Perhaps it is now time to say a few words about my mom's parents ... Rose and Tom.
Perhaps for the moment , only Rose. I believe Rose was born in Britt around 1890 ... if not born there ... spent some of her childhood there. I also believe Rose has North American Indian ancestry ... and therefore so do I. I have tried on several occasions to confirm this and so has one of my sisters ... Joaanne ... no luck!.
I decided a few years ago ... i will simply take it as true and 'honour' them (North American Indians) as my ancestors and in a metaphysical way ... seek their help. There is so much more to share on this particular subject but I must move on or I will never finish (Golden Pond ...Egansville ... Madonna House Combermere)
I am quite excited about this experience ... I take it as an endorsement of my heritage ... the North American Indian component.
I decide to phone the lady Martial called this morning to arrange a room for me ... partly out of moral obligation ... I wouldn't want this lady to wait around for me and me not show up and partly because I figured maybe Martial called her again to arrange lodging for himself.
Found my telephone card and a pay telephone was 20 metres away ... no answer ... both numbers ... no connection with the first number and I declined the request to leave a message. The second number dialed I got the message "person is not available). I hung up and took a look at my phone credits ... the card I bought started at 50 credits ... this last phone call ... for a recorded message ... "person not available" ... cost me 5 credits ... ouch!
Not a good feeling. I called Paula to ask for some help to arrange insurance for the car so Sherry could drive it. The phone call to Paula ... Canada ... lasted longer ... had to leave my message ... and only cost 3 credits. Under my breath I am cursing the phone card system and thinking how I just wasted 5 credits trying to connect with the owner of the ADP.
With these unfriendly thoughts and feelings I open the door to the phone booth and head back to my backpack which I had left on the sidewalk.
As I am stepping out of the phone booth ... no more than 3 paces away ... a car pulls up and the lady driving the car ... an elderly lady ... turns her head towards me and starts talking ... she asks me ... "are you the pilgrim??"
Yup! ... the lady is Mme Vergut ... the lady who Martial had called this morning ... the person I was just trying to connect with by phone.
... note ... I was trying to make something happen ... contact Mme Vergut ... it didn't work but suddenly with no effort on my part she found me. Hmmm! Wu Wei???
Quel surprise! ... my unfriendly thoughts and feelings of a few seconds earlier evaporate ... vanish! ... and are replaced with 'awe' and 'joy' ... wow! ... now not only have I made a contact ... I don't have to walk the one and a half kilometres to her house ... Cadeau de Dieu ... sychronicity ... who cares! .... I don't have to walk anymore today!
I sober up quickly from this exuberance when I remember Martial ... where is he? ... does he have lodging for tonight? ... after all he made the phone call this morning and while I recall he made arrangements for me only ... I continue to be anxious about his welfare. I explain to Mme Vergut ... she is so charitable ... says she knows the Camino and will go looking for him. She drives around for a while ... stops twice to make enquireis ... people she knows who live alongside the Camino ... he will find his way.
On arrival at Mme Vergut's home I find the piece of paper Martial had given me several days earlier. I remember that he had mentiooned earlier in the day ... if we get lost or separated ... call me or send me an email to let me know how your Camino finished.(I learned later that in his mind I would spend the night at the ADP and out of necessity he would have to sleep somewhere else ... hence the assumption of separation)
I give the piece of paper to Mme Vergut and she assures me that she will call him right away.
Perhaps a few words about Mme Vergut's home ... it's a Chateau!! ... a huge Chateau!! ... how exciting. She stops at what I learn later is the former 'farmers' residence ... a separate building around 50 metres from the 'Cahteau'. This particular building has not been used for several years ... not by the 'farmer's' family in any event. I learn later that Mme Vergut's family and the 'farmer's' family have been here ... on this property ... for three generations. Mme Vergut mentions her memory of going to school together with the 'farmer's' children.
Exciting news! ... challenges my earlier views of life in a 'Chateau'. So much I could write here ... but again ... I must move on before I run out of ink! ... out of paper! ... or out of energy!
Mme Vergut makes a telephone connection with Martial ... she goes to pick him up ... he arrives ... what a day!!
Mme Vergut shows us the fridge ... 3 beer in it ... spring water ... carbonated water ... I think ... how generous!!
She informs me that 'we' will eat together around 8:30 PM ... she tells me this before she finds Martial.
We have a wonderful meal together ... pizza ... ordeuves ... fresh strawberries ... caramel pudding ... wow!! ... conversation ... the most exciting part being Mme Vergut's sharing her memory of the day 3 Canadian soldiers 'dropped' out of the sky in her front yard ... fortunately they were wearing parachutes! ... What a day!!
Mme Vergut's sister ... Mme Mercier is also visiting and supping with us ... somewhere in the conversation the subject of Ste Bernadette comes up ... turns out she is her favourite Saint ... hmmm
On leaving the house Mme Vergut and Martial are chatting ... I'm not really sure what they are talking about ... seems they are attempting to speak in simple French so I can understand ... I am not at all offended ... my mind is in 'turbocharge' mode trying to assimilate all that has happened today.
I hear the word Joan of Arc ... Mme Vergut mentions her ... I remember that Martial lives about 100 kilometres from where Joan of Arc spent her childhood. Martial had told me this earlier in the day. At this point I figure out that Mme Vergut is telling Martial that she is familiar with the area where he lives ... if not his village ... hmmm ... what a day!!
I sleep like a baby ... coffee and breakfast around 8:00AM ... a soft knock at the door announces its arrival. Mme Vergut had mentioned the night before that the lady who helps her maintain the Chateau would be here in the morning and would bring us coffee et al if we like. Thinking about my morning need for a caffeine fix ... I accepted her generous offer.
Walked to town to attend mass ... lacked the trust to wait for Mme Mercier who had offered us a ride to town the night before ... she planned to attend mass as well.
Today is Pentecost Sunday ... hmmm
I find Mme Mercier waiting outside the church after mass ... she offers me a ride back to the Chateau ... I accept.
I write these last few pages and now I am pooped again ... still haven't got to my meditation ... maybe tonight ... who knows? ... who cares??
What a 24 hours!!
Martial's story about why he called the ADP in the morning ... assumed the ADP would only have room for one pilgrim and Martial was more concerned about me than about himself ... what generosity!!
Lost my lighter ... the gift I received at the bar ... the lighter with the eagle on it ... I packed away intending to keep as a souvenir ... lost my lighter somehow at Mme Vergut's and had to use the 'gift' ... kept using it until it ran out of fluid back in Canada a month or so later.
May 31, 2004 Been about 24 hours again ... it's around 1:00PM ... have walked about 10 kilometres ... in my shower sandals ... had to carry my boots ... they're all wet from yesterday ... ouch! ... more about this later.
The past 24 hours has several interesting twists
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Now I will write about my recollection of the events leading up to my unexpected and unplanned arrival on the doorsteps of the Madonna House in Combermere. At the time I was trying to sell my car (Chrysler) ... since I wasn't having any luck in Guelph my sister offered to try and sell it in Ottawa. I drove the car to Ottawa and planned to somehow get to Huntsville to pick up the older Jeep I had purchased a few weeks earlier.
While at my sister's house in Ottawa I remembered that I wanted to visit the Greenside's farm in Marmora ... a place I had visited if July ... a place where some claim to experience apparitions of the Virgin Mary. My sister offered to drive us there the next day ... her daughter tagged along. The visit to the farm was uneventful enough but we had an interesting experience later that day in the neighborhood. We found land that had belonged to my grandmother and grandfather many many years ago ... the trail to this discovery was peppered with mystery and coincidence. This particular day seemed to trigger a rather dramatic change in direction for both myself and my sister ... in my case I started travelling ... visiting around 15 countries and walking more than 4,000 kilometres in France, Spain and Portugal.
The day after returning to Ottawa my sister suggested we go visit a parish priest who we knew as children in Levack ... she wanted to talk to him about her experience the day before at our grandfather's former home near Trenton ... the priest was living in Cobden at the time. She offered to drop me off on the road to Huntsville on her way home ... she didn't have time to drive me all the way to Huntsville. We found Father Delaney and had a nice visit. My sister dropped me off on the road to Huntsville ... at Eganville. When looking up Eganville today ... a tiny village ... I learned that a local girl placed fourth in the the 800 metre race at the recent Olympics!
I started walking along the road ... hitch hiking ... something I hadn't done since a teenager. No luck ... I ended up walking all the way to Combermere ... about 55 kilometres. Perhaps this walk was a harbinger of the 4,000 kilometres I would walk along the Camino Santiago.
A few unusual experiences along the way ...
1) I stopped for the night at a motel near Diwight ... had enough money to pay for the room but nothing left to buy something to eat. The motel owner was generous enough to provide a sandwich on my promise to send payment after I got home.
2) On my second day of walking I somehow got the notion I wanted to leave my old life behind and start a new life. I was pushed out of my second family a few months earlier and I was still under considerable strain from the trauma. I was carrying a few belongings in a large green garbage bag ... I decided to put on only clothes that were new to me ... and get rid of everything else in the bag ... including my money and wallet. I put the bag under a culvert on the highway and kept walking.
3)I was following the wind ... whatever direction the wind blew I would follow ... the leaves on the trees indicated the direction of the wind. I wandered into an Indian Reserve on Golden Pond lake ... found a nice little Catholic church. Two people were working inside so I decided to visit ... they thanked me for my visit but told me I couldn't stay.
4)I followed the wind to the doorstep of a house along the highway ... strange eh! ... thank goodness nobody was home. The name on the house was John Culp ... the exact same name as my brother in law ... Paula's sister's husband ... and Culp is not exactly a common name. Hmmm!
5) I changed my mind about dumping my belongings ... went back to retrieve them and they were gone! ... Yikes!! ... how could someone find my garbage bag under the road in a culvert? I kept walking and came along a restaurant ... managed to call the local police and low and behold they had my bag and my stuff. Amazingly, even my money and wallet was still in the bag.
6) I followed the wind to the shore of a small lake ... walked into the lake with all my clothes on ... this is September the 15th ... not exactly swimming weather. I looked at the small trees along the shore of the lake and they were bent down towards the water. I assumed this meant I had to submerge myself in the water ... I tried to drown myself ... the water was too shallow and I lacked the courage. Perhaps this was another subconscious attempt to shed my old life and start a new one. Perhaps it was a baptism by the Holy Spirit ... who knows eh!
7) All drenched I walked back up to the road ... thank goodness I had left my cigarettes and lighter at the side of the road ... a cigarette helped to calm me down. I walked up the road ... saw a tea house ... went to the door and asked for a tea to go. Strangely enough people at the tea house didn't ask me about my condition ... I'm soaking wet and it's the middle of September!
8) Walking back up the road I noticed a sign for "Madonna House" ... hadn't noticed it on the way to the lake ... had no idea what it was but decided to go in and check it out. I met a resident priest and shared my story with him. His advice was to go back to my family ... bloom where you are planted. I internalized his advice and tried to make it happen. As I mentioned earlier my attempts to apply his advice failed miserably ... and here I am celebrating 11 years in China ... a very long way from where I was planted. Hmmm!
9) Walked back to the road to start making my way back to Tavistock. Shortly after a beat up old van stopped and offered me a ride. A really nice man who had just finished a visit to Madonna House ... he told me he visits regularly but is not ready to become a permanent resident. He had a copy of the "Peace Prayer" of St Francis on his dash. I explained to him that I was looking for a ride to Huntsville ... he answered that his beat up old van couldn't survive the trip but he knew someone who might help. He drove me to his friend's house in Barry's Bay ... a divorced man who had custody of his children. His friend explained that travelling through Algonquin Park ... necessary to get to Huntsville ... at this time of year was dangerous ... especially at night ... because of the moose wandering out onto the road. Despite the danger he agreed to give me a ride to Huntsville. An abrupt change in my fortunes ... after walking 55 kilometres I was happy to sit in the backseat of his car. This is another example of the generosity of those who have so little ... often far superior to those who have so much.
For the past week or so I have been thinking about this metaphor. I wanted to use the metaphor as the basis for some thoughts that have been swimming around in my mind for several weeks ... I just couldn't get started.
This morning I may have figured out why I couldn't get started ... my writing about tiger's stripes or leopard's spots would have been sterile ... lifeless ... I have no personal experience with the metaphor ... no one has ever used the expression to help me understand myself.
On the other hand I have a personal experience with the metaphor "bloom where you are planted". About 21 years ago, a priest at the "Madonna House" in Combermere introduced the metaphor to me to support his advice that I go back to my family in Tavistock ... the day I tried to join the Madonna House as a layman. The events surrounding my visit to the Madonna House are one of my earliest experiences of the Chinese philosophy Wu Wei ... "(Chinese, literally “non-doing”) is an important concept of Taoism and means natural action, or in other words, action that does not involve struggle or excessive effort.Wu Wei is the cultivation of a mental state in which our actions are quite effortlessly in alignment with the flow of life."
Another spin on Wu Wei is ... "Rather than trying to make something happen ... sit in the back seat and watch events unfold with no effort, stress or motivation."
The equivalent notion in Christianity is "follow the Holy Spirit"
The underlying intentions of the above metaphors ... tigers stripes and bloom where you are planted ... may not be the same however, they are both used to help us better understand our individual lives and our individual life choices. I decided to check my scribbling for the past 10-15 years to see if I ever wrote any notes or thoughts about the metaphor "bloom where you are planted". I found two occasions:
1) The first reference was in 2002 ... I wrote some thoughts about it.
Camino Santiago Pilgrimage July 2002
A series of 'mysterious' experiences brought me back to the Camino Santiago ... at Sanguesa. My 'rational' reason for starting in Sanguesa was to complete the Camino I started 2 years earlier ... 'solo'.
The following notes were written in the same scribbler used 2 years earlier.
To write or not to write was a big question for me. What to write?
May the words I write at this moment be inspired by the Virgin Mary ... may my ego go to sleep for a few moments.
I sit here at the same place where I wrote the last time ... I wrote a little in the Albergue in Monreal ... two years ago ... almost to the day.
Today is the feast day of Our Lady of Carmel here in Spain ... found myself at mass this morning on my way out of Sanguesa
The weather is cool ... strong winds ... the sun pops in and out.
Sanguesa is apparently the site of the first Franciscan monastery in Spain Apparently St Francis passed this way when he walked the Camino ... Who knows?? This place is called the fuente of San Francisco … the fountain of St Francis … I’m drinking wisdom from the fountain of St Francis … Wow! … How exciting!
I really have no idea why I am here on this particular day though lots and lots of speculation rolls around in my mind. A healthy concern about speculation these days ... looking at all that happens and interpreting certain events to mean certain things; sign posts along the way so to speak ... well ... they may be sign posts ... but they are very confusing! Not unlike my experience in the last hour or so ... since leaving Sanguesa ... the Camino signs.
The signs that are intended to help the people walking the Camino find their way were so confusing this morning ... and I have been here before! This experience suggests we often don't learn the appropriate life lessons with the first experience.
I still found myself going the wrong way ... and being confused ... they have Camino signs ... relatively new ones ... pointing in opposite directions. Suppose it may be intentional ... there are so many roads and maybe they all lead to the same place ... in this instance Santiago de Compostella. All roads lead to Rome … all roads lead to God?
I remembered this morning what the priest told me in Combermere ... about 6 years ago ... before I started all this traveling. At the time, my attempted suicide prompted me to seek help from the church.. He shared the metaphor ... "bloom where you are planted".
We humans have taken a zillion plants and animals away from their natural home and with some success helped them to adapt to new and often quite different environments eg. vegetables like potatoes and tomatoes(originally from Peru)... is this right? ... or ... wrong??
This reality does not mitigate the truth in the expression ... "bloom where you are planted". We know that nature takes care of all plants and animals in their natural environment.
So what does this have to do with people? I originally took what the priest suggested literally ... I went back to Tavistock with the idea that I should be close to my family ... bloom where I was planted.
As a result of the my conversation with the priest at Madonna House and their refusal to accept me as a resident layman I went to visit Paula and explained that I wanted to rent an apartment at the new apartment building in Tavistock. She got rather upset and angry and told me I absolutely could not do that ... being so close would only make her life more difficult. As it turned out soon after my visit Paula rented one of the apartments in this building ... perhaps it was her plan before I mentioned my own intentions. In any event, rather than exacerbate an already very tense situation I went to Guelph and have wandered all over the place since.
St Teresa of Avila, a Doctor of the church, is alleged to have said “don’t send me any more dumb priests”. Seems she also experienced first hand that priests are human too. Since she was a mystic with many mystical experiences; she learned ordinary human beings have no way of understanding mysticism. The North American Indian expression comes to mind, something to the effect … “hold your tongue until you walk a mile in the other person’s moccasins”
Unfortunately we have no command over mystical experience … we cannot walk in a mystics shoes; therefore we can never understand them.
After these many years of wandering I have changed my interpretation of the expression ... "bloom where you are planted" ... I moved it into the 'metaphysical' realm. I still believe there is some value on the physical plane ... but then ... why not also some value on the 'metaphysical' plane?
Seems to me the difference is ... no forget that thought...
Seems to me on the 'metaphysical' plane we have no choice about where we are planted ... this is also true of the physical plane ... well ... at least was true until recently. Seems science is now changing all this with the recent stem cell research et al ... now seems we are headed in the same direction I mentioned a few words ago ... humans have 'transplanted' animals and plants for thousands of years ... now they are embarking on the same road with humans ... right? or wrong?
Who knows? ... Good? or bad? ... Who knows? ... Necessary evolution? ... Who knows?
Back to my new understanding of the expression ... "bloom where you are planted" ... on the metaphysical plane
I was planted a Roman Catholic ... I’m still a Roman Catholic and still very comfortable being a Roman Catholic despite all the bad press these days and the sometimes horrific events in Roman Catholic history.
I have had many opportunities to change my membership in the metaphysical plane.
Here I go again with speculation ... I am reluctant ... but I will put my current speculative thoughts on paper ... ouch!!
Just as I finished the last paragraph I heard some noise ... turned out to be a tractor ... two tractors ... one heading in one direction and one heading in the opposite direction ... not enough room on the road for both.
One of the farmers took the initiative to pull to the side and allow the other one to pass ... and than both moved along on their respective journeys ... out of sight and out of hearing range.
Now this seems like quite an innocent experience ... not much activity around here ... quite normal to see 2 farmers going about their work.
My mind went to work on speculation ... 'cogito' or psychological imbalance?? ... Illness?
Doesn't matter ... here is where it went...
Part of my mind went back and collected the thought a few words back ... all rivers lead to the ocean ... placed this thought beside the image that these 2 tractors were not headed to the same place and they would collide head on if both stubbornly stuck to their path ... one of them conceded ... allowing both to continue along their way. Hmmm
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2) In 2004 during my walk across France ... here is what I wrote concerning the circumstances surrounding this particular reference.
OK ... now it seems I have paid appropriate tribute to both my mom and my dad ... the very little respect and gratitude I have expressed ... there is much more in my heart that perhaps I will find a way to express sometime.
A very special experience ... the visit to Cafe du Chalet Bar Tabac the gift of a lighter ... losing my regular lighter and being forced to use the gift.
The picture of the Indian Chief and the words:
"Once you have polluted the last river, once you have felled the last tree, killed the last buffalo, only then will you realize that you cannot eat all the money that you have put in your banks.
Let us take the earth back"
May 30, 2004
Around 1:00PM ... it's been almost 24 hours since I put down my pen ... and again so much has happened in the last 24 hours ... how will I be able to write it all down. The excitement of the events is still so fresh in my mind. I must try hard not to embellish the facts or direct the experiences towards my personal views.
Here goes ... I will attempt to recall what happened in chronological order ... in point form and perhaps in more detail at some later date.
Yesterday I put down my pen ... picked up my backpack and 'hit the road' so to speak. After walking about 20 metres I hear this whistle ... the kind of whistle that says ...hey you ... look over here ... I turn around ... it's Martial ... hmmm ... I should have seen him when I got up to leave ... he was that close ... nope!
Several hundred words back I mentioned "Martial heads for the church and I head for the Joan of Arc Church ... this was first thing in the morning and I hadn't seen him since ... several hours.
We walked along together for a bit ... agian Martial had difficulty keeping up with my slow pace and he walked on ahead of me. A few kilometres down the road Martial stopped to rest ... while tired and sore I wasn't ready to put down my backpack. I think I simply preferred to stop ahead somewhere so I could rest in solitude ... me and my thoughts and no interference ... how selfish eh!
A few kilometres later ... I'm lost! ... and I know I am lost ... for me there is a huge difference. Most of the time I am lost ... figuratively speaking! yet I don't know I'm lost so it doesn't bother me :-)
At this particular moment it bothers me that I am lost ... I make my best intuitive guess ... turn right and start down the hill ... about 80 metres down the hill my inner voice says ... this doesn't seem right. I stop for a bit ... turn around and head back up the hill ... for a pilgrim there is no worse experience than to go back over the same ground ... seems to me most pilgrims (those walking) prefer to keep going. In any event I head back ... and it's up hill no less! ... Yikes!!
At the top of the hill I study the guide again ... try to figure out from the map which direction to go ... I even ask the people who are working in the field beside the road. Seems they don't know the Camino St Jacques ... I sing out the names of a few places on the map and they assure me that I should go back down the hill and eventually I will see a sign indicating the right direction.
Still doesn't seem right ... but on I go.
This little experience had a small 'side effect'. Because I was forced to study the map more closely ... a rare event for me ... I noticed that I had passed a place called "Le trou de Diable" ... whew! ... not so disappointed that I didn't see it ... and quite content that I did not fall into it!
My mind is amused at this point ... here I am putting the final touches on the meditation I have mentioned several times and still not written about the one associated with the expression "It's time to shit or get off the pot" ... and poof ... I get lost ... study the map ... and find I have not fallen into "Le Trou de Diable"
I keep walking ... now recognize where I am ... missed a turn and I need to make a long detour (1-2 kilometres) ... which is a long ways when you are Kaput! ... to get back on the Camino.
The sun is shining ... it's hot(about 33 degrees ... saw this on one of those electronic billboard things in town) My eyes notice something on the other side of the road ... curiosity aroused ... my eyes zoom in for a closer look ... oops! ... this is a snake! ... a big snake!! ... biggest I have ever seen snake ... 2-3 coils about 12" or so in diameter ... I figure this snake is about 3 feet long.
I had to look real hard to find it's head ... it was resting on one of the coils ... yikes! I have always had an aversion to snakes ... don't know why? ... I keep on walking ... saying to myself ...the snake is only sunning himself/herself ... yellow stomach ... silver and grey colour.
Good thing I was on the opposite side of the road ... being semi-comotose I would likely have stepped right on it!! ... not likely ... hopefully it would have moved first??
Intriguing .... first I am goaded into learning about "Le Trou de Diable" ... without being taken there for a visit ... and a few minutes later I am given this experience of the huge 'snake' all coiled up accross the road from me ... like he is watching me ... waiting to strike????
So within a few minutes I was lost ... because I was lost ... I studied the map ... no help ... I take the wrong road and I see this big snake ... now I am feeling a bit intimidated.
The wrong road eventually takes me through a small village ... i think to myself ... alas! ... taking the wrong road would also deliver a 'blessing' ... I can have a coffee or drink sooner than I expected ... my 'involuntary' fast of the day would end ... you see there is an "R" on the map ... meaning there is a restaurant here ... no such luck! The restaurant is closed ... my involuntary fast is still on! ... Yuk!
Eventually I arrive in the town where my days walk is expected to end. By this time I have no cigarettes ... well I still have one pack of 'Players' in my backpack ... my eyes scan the horizon and I see a 'Tabac" sign ... but the store seems closed.
A motorcyclist pulls up beside the "tabac' store ... hmmm ... if he heads for the door I will know if it's open or not and save myself a few steps ... he does ... the 'Tabac' store is open! ... I'm content now.
I head accross the street ... I walk past the door to check out the 'Bar' next door ... seems closed ... Oh well! ... I'll buy my smokes and head accross the street to the other 'Bar'. While buying my smokes I notice that the 'Tabac' shop and the Bar are connected and the door between them is open. Kinda dark and smokey ... not too appealing.
For some reason I decide it's not such a bad idea to go pee pee here. I ask the girl if I can use the washroom ... response ..."oui" ... off I go.
On the way to the washroom and on the way back (to retrieve my backpack in the Tabac shop) I notice several paintings of 'Indians' ... Indian Chiefs, Indian Girl etc. I study them ... now I am intrigued ... how is it that a bar in a small town in France has so much North American Indian art and periphanalia.
Of course, I inquire ... turns out the gentleman to whom I direct my enquiry is the owner ... he explains to me that since he was young he has had this passion for the North American Indian. He has a library of stuff ... cassettes and whatever ... says he knows all the tribes etc etc. I think to myself ... how interesting! I buy an orange juice and sit for a moment ... I want to explore this a bit more ...
Chat more with the owner ... share with him that I believe I have some North American Indian ancestry. He warms up a lot towards me ... gives me a lighter ... the bar's name and address and a logo of an Indian with an eagle ... wow!! I think to myself ... this gentleman really does have a passion for the North American Indian.
A few minutes later I tell him I must leave ... he offers me a drink ... I decline explaining that I am on the Camino and I need to go outside and wait for a friend(Martial)
I originally planned to go accross the street for a coffee ... a feeling of 'guilt' wouldn't allow me to now ... the bar accross the street is visible through the window of the bar I just left ... I would feel terrible if he saw me at the bar accross the street just after declining his generous offer (the drink)
I sit on the sidewalk ... contemplating what just happened ... seemed to me that today is a day to honor my ancestors ... a few hundred(maybe thousand) words back I wrote a bit about my mom ... my dad ... and my dad's mom and her dad. Perhaps it is now time to say a few words about my mom's parents ... Rose and Tom.
Perhaps for the moment , only Rose. I believe Rose was born in Britt around 1890 ... if not born there ... spent some of her childhood there. I also believe Rose has North American Indian ancestry ... and therefore so do I. I have tried on several occasions to confirm this and so has one of my sisters ... Joaanne ... no luck!.
I decided a few years ago ... i will simply take it as true and 'honour' them (North American Indians) as my ancestors and in a metaphysical way ... seek their help. There is so much more to share on this particular subject but I must move on or I will never finish (Golden Pond ...Egansville ... Madonna House Combermere)
I am quite excited about this experience ... I take it as an endorsement of my heritage ... the North American Indian component.
I decide to phone the lady Martial called this morning to arrange a room for me ... partly out of moral obligation ... I wouldn't want this lady to wait around for me and me not show up and partly because I figured maybe Martial called her again to arrange lodging for himself.
Found my telephone card and a pay telephone was 20 metres away ... no answer ... both numbers ... no connection with the first number and I declined the request to leave a message. The second number dialed I got the message "person is not available). I hung up and took a look at my phone credits ... the card I bought started at 50 credits ... this last phone call ... for a recorded message ... "person not available" ... cost me 5 credits ... ouch!
Not a good feeling. I called Paula to ask for some help to arrange insurance for the car so Sherry could drive it. The phone call to Paula ... Canada ... lasted longer ... had to leave my message ... and only cost 3 credits. Under my breath I am cursing the phone card system and thinking how I just wasted 5 credits trying to connect with the owner of the ADP.
With these unfriendly thoughts and feelings I open the door to the phone booth and head back to my backpack which I had left on the sidewalk.
As I am stepping out of the phone booth ... no more than 3 paces away ... a car pulls up and the lady driving the car ... an elderly lady ... turns her head towards me and starts talking ... she asks me ... "are you the pilgrim??"
Yup! ... the lady is Mme Vergut ... the lady who Martial had called this morning ... the person I was just trying to connect with by phone.
... note ... I was trying to make something happen ... contact Mme Vergut ... it didn't work but suddenly with no effort on my part she found me. Hmmm! Wu Wei???
Quel surprise! ... my unfriendly thoughts and feelings of a few seconds earlier evaporate ... vanish! ... and are replaced with 'awe' and 'joy' ... wow! ... now not only have I made a contact ... I don't have to walk the one and a half kilometres to her house ... Cadeau de Dieu ... sychronicity ... who cares! .... I don't have to walk anymore today!
I sober up quickly from this exuberance when I remember Martial ... where is he? ... does he have lodging for tonight? ... after all he made the phone call this morning and while I recall he made arrangements for me only ... I continue to be anxious about his welfare. I explain to Mme Vergut ... she is so charitable ... says she knows the Camino and will go looking for him. She drives around for a while ... stops twice to make enquireis ... people she knows who live alongside the Camino ... he will find his way.
On arrival at Mme Vergut's home I find the piece of paper Martial had given me several days earlier. I remember that he had mentiooned earlier in the day ... if we get lost or separated ... call me or send me an email to let me know how your Camino finished.(I learned later that in his mind I would spend the night at the ADP and out of necessity he would have to sleep somewhere else ... hence the assumption of separation)
I give the piece of paper to Mme Vergut and she assures me that she will call him right away.
Perhaps a few words about Mme Vergut's home ... it's a Chateau!! ... a huge Chateau!! ... how exciting. She stops at what I learn later is the former 'farmers' residence ... a separate building around 50 metres from the 'Cahteau'. This particular building has not been used for several years ... not by the 'farmer's' family in any event. I learn later that Mme Vergut's family and the 'farmer's' family have been here ... on this property ... for three generations. Mme Vergut mentions her memory of going to school together with the 'farmer's' children.
Exciting news! ... challenges my earlier views of life in a 'Chateau'. So much I could write here ... but again ... I must move on before I run out of ink! ... out of paper! ... or out of energy!
Mme Vergut makes a telephone connection with Martial ... she goes to pick him up ... he arrives ... what a day!!
Mme Vergut shows us the fridge ... 3 beer in it ... spring water ... carbonated water ... I think ... how generous!!
She informs me that 'we' will eat together around 8:30 PM ... she tells me this before she finds Martial.
We have a wonderful meal together ... pizza ... ordeuves ... fresh strawberries ... caramel pudding ... wow!! ... conversation ... the most exciting part being Mme Vergut's sharing her memory of the day 3 Canadian soldiers 'dropped' out of the sky in her front yard ... fortunately they were wearing parachutes! ... What a day!!
Mme Vergut's sister ... Mme Mercier is also visiting and supping with us ... somewhere in the conversation the subject of Ste Bernadette comes up ... turns out she is her favourite Saint ... hmmm
On leaving the house Mme Vergut and Martial are chatting ... I'm not really sure what they are talking about ... seems they are attempting to speak in simple French so I can understand ... I am not at all offended ... my mind is in 'turbocharge' mode trying to assimilate all that has happened today.
I hear the word Joan of Arc ... Mme Vergut mentions her ... I remember that Martial lives about 100 kilometres from where Joan of Arc spent her childhood. Martial had told me this earlier in the day. At this point I figure out that Mme Vergut is telling Martial that she is familiar with the area where he lives ... if not his village ... hmmm ... what a day!!
I sleep like a baby ... coffee and breakfast around 8:00AM ... a soft knock at the door announces its arrival. Mme Vergut had mentioned the night before that the lady who helps her maintain the Chateau would be here in the morning and would bring us coffee et al if we like. Thinking about my morning need for a caffeine fix ... I accepted her generous offer.
Walked to town to attend mass ... lacked the trust to wait for Mme Mercier who had offered us a ride to town the night before ... she planned to attend mass as well.
Today is Pentecost Sunday ... hmmm
I find Mme Mercier waiting outside the church after mass ... she offers me a ride back to the Chateau ... I accept.
I write these last few pages and now I am pooped again ... still haven't got to my meditation ... maybe tonight ... who knows? ... who cares??
What a 24 hours!!
Martial's story about why he called the ADP in the morning ... assumed the ADP would only have room for one pilgrim and Martial was more concerned about me than about himself ... what generosity!!
Lost my lighter ... the gift I received at the bar ... the lighter with the eagle on it ... I packed away intending to keep as a souvenir ... lost my lighter somehow at Mme Vergut's and had to use the 'gift' ... kept using it until it ran out of fluid back in Canada a month or so later.
May 31, 2004 Been about 24 hours again ... it's around 1:00PM ... have walked about 10 kilometres ... in my shower sandals ... had to carry my boots ... they're all wet from yesterday ... ouch! ... more about this later.
The past 24 hours has several interesting twists
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Now I will write about my recollection of the events leading up to my unexpected and unplanned arrival on the doorsteps of the Madonna House in Combermere. At the time I was trying to sell my car (Chrysler) ... since I wasn't having any luck in Guelph my sister offered to try and sell it in Ottawa. I drove the car to Ottawa and planned to somehow get to Huntsville to pick up the older Jeep I had purchased a few weeks earlier.
While at my sister's house in Ottawa I remembered that I wanted to visit the Greenside's farm in Marmora ... a place I had visited if July ... a place where some claim to experience apparitions of the Virgin Mary. My sister offered to drive us there the next day ... her daughter tagged along. The visit to the farm was uneventful enough but we had an interesting experience later that day in the neighborhood. We found land that had belonged to my grandmother and grandfather many many years ago ... the trail to this discovery was peppered with mystery and coincidence. This particular day seemed to trigger a rather dramatic change in direction for both myself and my sister ... in my case I started travelling ... visiting around 15 countries and walking more than 4,000 kilometres in France, Spain and Portugal.
The day after returning to Ottawa my sister suggested we go visit a parish priest who we knew as children in Levack ... she wanted to talk to him about her experience the day before at our grandfather's former home near Trenton ... the priest was living in Cobden at the time. She offered to drop me off on the road to Huntsville on her way home ... she didn't have time to drive me all the way to Huntsville. We found Father Delaney and had a nice visit. My sister dropped me off on the road to Huntsville ... at Eganville. When looking up Eganville today ... a tiny village ... I learned that a local girl placed fourth in the the 800 metre race at the recent Olympics!
I started walking along the road ... hitch hiking ... something I hadn't done since a teenager. No luck ... I ended up walking all the way to Combermere ... about 55 kilometres. Perhaps this walk was a harbinger of the 4,000 kilometres I would walk along the Camino Santiago.
A few unusual experiences along the way ...
1) I stopped for the night at a motel near Diwight ... had enough money to pay for the room but nothing left to buy something to eat. The motel owner was generous enough to provide a sandwich on my promise to send payment after I got home.
2) On my second day of walking I somehow got the notion I wanted to leave my old life behind and start a new life. I was pushed out of my second family a few months earlier and I was still under considerable strain from the trauma. I was carrying a few belongings in a large green garbage bag ... I decided to put on only clothes that were new to me ... and get rid of everything else in the bag ... including my money and wallet. I put the bag under a culvert on the highway and kept walking.
3)I was following the wind ... whatever direction the wind blew I would follow ... the leaves on the trees indicated the direction of the wind. I wandered into an Indian Reserve on Golden Pond lake ... found a nice little Catholic church. Two people were working inside so I decided to visit ... they thanked me for my visit but told me I couldn't stay.
4)I followed the wind to the doorstep of a house along the highway ... strange eh! ... thank goodness nobody was home. The name on the house was John Culp ... the exact same name as my brother in law ... Paula's sister's husband ... and Culp is not exactly a common name. Hmmm!
5) I changed my mind about dumping my belongings ... went back to retrieve them and they were gone! ... Yikes!! ... how could someone find my garbage bag under the road in a culvert? I kept walking and came along a restaurant ... managed to call the local police and low and behold they had my bag and my stuff. Amazingly, even my money and wallet was still in the bag.
6) I followed the wind to the shore of a small lake ... walked into the lake with all my clothes on ... this is September the 15th ... not exactly swimming weather. I looked at the small trees along the shore of the lake and they were bent down towards the water. I assumed this meant I had to submerge myself in the water ... I tried to drown myself ... the water was too shallow and I lacked the courage. Perhaps this was another subconscious attempt to shed my old life and start a new one. Perhaps it was a baptism by the Holy Spirit ... who knows eh!
7) All drenched I walked back up to the road ... thank goodness I had left my cigarettes and lighter at the side of the road ... a cigarette helped to calm me down. I walked up the road ... saw a tea house ... went to the door and asked for a tea to go. Strangely enough people at the tea house didn't ask me about my condition ... I'm soaking wet and it's the middle of September!
8) Walking back up the road I noticed a sign for "Madonna House" ... hadn't noticed it on the way to the lake ... had no idea what it was but decided to go in and check it out. I met a resident priest and shared my story with him. His advice was to go back to my family ... bloom where you are planted. I internalized his advice and tried to make it happen. As I mentioned earlier my attempts to apply his advice failed miserably ... and here I am celebrating 11 years in China ... a very long way from where I was planted. Hmmm!
9) Walked back to the road to start making my way back to Tavistock. Shortly after a beat up old van stopped and offered me a ride. A really nice man who had just finished a visit to Madonna House ... he told me he visits regularly but is not ready to become a permanent resident. He had a copy of the "Peace Prayer" of St Francis on his dash. I explained to him that I was looking for a ride to Huntsville ... he answered that his beat up old van couldn't survive the trip but he knew someone who might help. He drove me to his friend's house in Barry's Bay ... a divorced man who had custody of his children. His friend explained that travelling through Algonquin Park ... necessary to get to Huntsville ... at this time of year was dangerous ... especially at night ... because of the moose wandering out onto the road. Despite the danger he agreed to give me a ride to Huntsville. An abrupt change in my fortunes ... after walking 55 kilometres I was happy to sit in the backseat of his car. This is another example of the generosity of those who have so little ... often far superior to those who have so much.
October 13, 2016
Today is the 99th anniversary of the Miracle of Fatima ... psychologically an important day for me. Because it feels important I have a certain expectation that something special should happen today. Maybe it just did ... ??
I just finished some research on the expression "bloom where you are planted" ... what a surprise! There is very little information available and apparently the expression is seldom used. I'm convinced that had I done my research earlier ... before I wrote my thoughts yesterday ... I wouldn't have written them. Why?
My naive literal interpretation of the expression is not part of the conventional research material. The best interpretation I read is:
"Bloom where you are planted = fioritura dove sei piantato.
Significa: to mature into achievement of one's potential."
The above interpretation helps me to accept myself and my life's decisions. The following two quotes from this article ... also appeal to me.
1) Every chapter in your life builds a foundation to launch the next chapter. So you have a choice. You can either feel sorry for yourself, wondering why you are not where you want to be and cursing the situation that you are in. Or you can look at this as a lesson. Ask yourself, “What is this here to teach me?” and “How can I use this experience to propel me to my ultimate goal?”
2) As Steve Jobs once said,
You cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in the future.
An image that just popped into my head is a large pile of lego building blocks ... of various sizes, shapes and colours. Our "journey of life" is much like the pile of lego blocks ... the individual building blocks only fit in one particular place and they must be assembled in the proper order. As in life ... we don't know the final outcome until it is complete ... sure we have an image in our mind of what we want to build ... with legos or with our life ... but only an image!
My experience today is a perfect example. Yesterday, I thought I knew where I wanted to go with the expression "bloom where you are planted". I wanted to contrast the intention of the expression with the intention of the popular expression "upward mobility". I wanted to illustrate that most people learn to be dissatisfied with the life circumstances they are planted in ... we are not born that way ... most people learn to want more! Wanting more leads to so much personal suffering and underpins many of the social ills in our societies. Water does not flow uphill!
The same message is illustrated in these few words attributed to the ancient Chinese sage Lao Tzu ... circa 500BC:
Today is the 99th anniversary of the Miracle of Fatima ... psychologically an important day for me. Because it feels important I have a certain expectation that something special should happen today. Maybe it just did ... ??
I just finished some research on the expression "bloom where you are planted" ... what a surprise! There is very little information available and apparently the expression is seldom used. I'm convinced that had I done my research earlier ... before I wrote my thoughts yesterday ... I wouldn't have written them. Why?
My naive literal interpretation of the expression is not part of the conventional research material. The best interpretation I read is:
"Bloom where you are planted = fioritura dove sei piantato.
Significa: to mature into achievement of one's potential."
The above interpretation helps me to accept myself and my life's decisions. The following two quotes from this article ... also appeal to me.
1) Every chapter in your life builds a foundation to launch the next chapter. So you have a choice. You can either feel sorry for yourself, wondering why you are not where you want to be and cursing the situation that you are in. Or you can look at this as a lesson. Ask yourself, “What is this here to teach me?” and “How can I use this experience to propel me to my ultimate goal?”
2) As Steve Jobs once said,
You cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in the future.
An image that just popped into my head is a large pile of lego building blocks ... of various sizes, shapes and colours. Our "journey of life" is much like the pile of lego blocks ... the individual building blocks only fit in one particular place and they must be assembled in the proper order. As in life ... we don't know the final outcome until it is complete ... sure we have an image in our mind of what we want to build ... with legos or with our life ... but only an image!
My experience today is a perfect example. Yesterday, I thought I knew where I wanted to go with the expression "bloom where you are planted". I wanted to contrast the intention of the expression with the intention of the popular expression "upward mobility". I wanted to illustrate that most people learn to be dissatisfied with the life circumstances they are planted in ... we are not born that way ... most people learn to want more! Wanting more leads to so much personal suffering and underpins many of the social ills in our societies. Water does not flow uphill!
The same message is illustrated in these few words attributed to the ancient Chinese sage Lao Tzu ... circa 500BC:
At the moment my thoughts are kind of muddled ... don't want to resume yesterday's intentions and not sure how to continue ... don't feel like I am finished yet either. Let me go back to the words I read a few minutes ago ... I find them exciting:
"Bloom where you are planted = fioritura dove sei piantato.
Significa: to mature into achievement of one's potential."
Let me start by sharing my reaction to the words ... "to mature into achievement of one's potential."
These words have an 'intuitive' feel ... they feel right ... they feel good ... they feel true. So what!
How does one interpret the word "potential"? In most societies the notion of "potential" is measured in dollars and cents ... is measured in fame and fortune ... is measured in power and influence and so on ... all man made constructs ... concepts introduced and nurtured in our individual societies ... across time and space.
Less appealing ... and consequently less popular is "potential" measured as contribution to mankind ... when results attributed to individual potential do not conform to societal norms ... they are not recognized by society as having merit as judged by the leaders of society. i.e If achievement of one's potential doesn't conform to societal norms it is rejected by society and considered at best a waste of effort ... and more often considered an "illness"!
I'm reminded of St Augustine's argument ... "Woe to you, torrent of human custom! Who can stand against you?"
What if maturing into the achievement of one's potential requires standing against the "torrent of human custom"?
Seems this morning I see myself as one who has been attempting to stand against the torrent of human custom ... not in defiance ... simply in a parallel universe of sorts!
Often I'm unspeakably sad and disappointed that I have allowed myself to become completely disenfranchised ... almost completely disconnected to my children ... my siblings ... the entire human race!
I have been living in the most populous nation on earth for most of the past 11 years and yet if feels like I have been living in a monastery with a vow of silence ... I hear the noise of language but it remains completely meaningless ... I read the characters of language but they remain completely meaningless.
The miracle of my life's experiences is that I am almost 66 years old and I am still standing ... without anti-depressant drugs or psychologic/psychiatric therapy.
Perhaps this is the only way I can mature into achievement of my potential?
Now I feel like I'm finished writing for today! :-)
"Bloom where you are planted = fioritura dove sei piantato.
Significa: to mature into achievement of one's potential."
Let me start by sharing my reaction to the words ... "to mature into achievement of one's potential."
These words have an 'intuitive' feel ... they feel right ... they feel good ... they feel true. So what!
How does one interpret the word "potential"? In most societies the notion of "potential" is measured in dollars and cents ... is measured in fame and fortune ... is measured in power and influence and so on ... all man made constructs ... concepts introduced and nurtured in our individual societies ... across time and space.
Less appealing ... and consequently less popular is "potential" measured as contribution to mankind ... when results attributed to individual potential do not conform to societal norms ... they are not recognized by society as having merit as judged by the leaders of society. i.e If achievement of one's potential doesn't conform to societal norms it is rejected by society and considered at best a waste of effort ... and more often considered an "illness"!
I'm reminded of St Augustine's argument ... "Woe to you, torrent of human custom! Who can stand against you?"
What if maturing into the achievement of one's potential requires standing against the "torrent of human custom"?
Seems this morning I see myself as one who has been attempting to stand against the torrent of human custom ... not in defiance ... simply in a parallel universe of sorts!
Often I'm unspeakably sad and disappointed that I have allowed myself to become completely disenfranchised ... almost completely disconnected to my children ... my siblings ... the entire human race!
I have been living in the most populous nation on earth for most of the past 11 years and yet if feels like I have been living in a monastery with a vow of silence ... I hear the noise of language but it remains completely meaningless ... I read the characters of language but they remain completely meaningless.
The miracle of my life's experiences is that I am almost 66 years old and I am still standing ... without anti-depressant drugs or psychologic/psychiatric therapy.
Perhaps this is the only way I can mature into achievement of my potential?
Now I feel like I'm finished writing for today! :-)